Never Again
by tiffyhatake
Summary: Iruka is slowly cracking from the inside, what will happen when he does,will his love be there for him? KakaIru
1. Chapter 1

Never Again

I silently walked out of the silver haired jounins house being as silent as I could since Kakashi had passed out after his release…as usual, leaving me to clean the cum out of my ass. I sighed it was like this every night, only sex it didn't matter if I got off or not it was all about his pleasure. I was sick of it!

I sighed feeling like kicking my self don't get me wrong the sex was great and the only times I didn't get off was when he came back from a bad mission were people were lost then I got a painful fuck!

Why did I have to be in love with a man that only cared about sex? Every time I would tell myself no more, I wasn't going to let it happen again I would leave him. He was one of the sexiest men in Kohana he wouldn't have trouble finding another sex toy so I wouldn't be abandon him.

I disappointed myself never able to leave he would come to me staring at me with that one blue eye and I couldn't tell him no.

I opened my apartment door collapsing on my bed sleep taking me.

-line break line break line break hell this is fun line break line break and so on –

"Iruka-sensia open up come on your late for work." I groined trying to ignore the person banging at my door.

"COME ON THE OTHER TEACHER ALREADY CALLED IN SICK TO WORK YOU CANT ABANDON YOUR DUTIES!!!! GET OUT OF BED." I sighed flipping the covers over and running to the bathroom scrubbing away the small smell of sex that still clung to me, then through on some clothes running out the door.

-line break saying I am not happy w/ this story so far someone talk to me if they have ideas-

The mission reports, all I had to do was hand out missions for a few hours and go home. I took a deep breath today had started out terrible!!

The children seemed more rowdy today the hours drug on and on. Now I am coming at the end of my patience but I did his best to keep up a mask but it was slowly cracking I couldn't take this anymore!!!! The same old thing I need a change so bad.

I fisted the papers breathing in and out.

"Iruka-san? Do you want to go home for the day?" I looked up to see Lady Hoakge.

"No Hokaga-sama I'm fine why would you think that?"

"Iruka you're crying…"


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer-tiffyhatake in no way shape or form owns the Naruto series, nor any of the characters._

Never Again, Chapter 2

I did my best to hide my embarrassment once Tsunade-sama had told me why she thought I needed a break. I only nodded _'Maybe a day off would be nice.'_

"Don't worry, the system won't fall apart, you do a lot taking care of those brats all day I'm sure you're tired. See you tomorrow."

"Yes I will be back tomorrow, thank you." I quickly made my way to the door, practically running for my apartment. Maybe today he wouldn't want _it_, maybe I could have a break then I would be fine .I just need a chance for my body to rest that's all. I would be fine tomorrow, right?

I heard the knock on my window but I was too asleep to get up and open it for Kakashi, I knew it was him. Maybe a few weeks ago I would have run to the window to open it for him, but not now. I was tired.

I could hear the window slide open and knew he had gotten impatient and decided to let himself in.

"I know you're awake." I didn't knowledge his existence. "Come on stop being an ass Iruka."

"Kakashi, where did you grow up?"

"Umm….Konoha. Why do you ask?"

"Well did anyone ever teach you how to ask for permission before coming into someone's home in Konoha, or were you raised in the stables?" Kakashi chuckled.

"No Iruka I wasn't raised in a barn."

"Then get the fuck out of my house!" I growled. This stupid, beautiful man was keeping me from my dream world. Why, oh why did he have to do that?

"Oh Iruka-kun don't be so mean. I almost feel like you don't care about me." I growled again, then sighed. Turning showing him my face for the first time that night, consequently seeing his face for the first time that night also. His mask was down and I couldn't help but stare at that beautiful face. Why was I in love with this man with the beautiful face?

"No matter how you try you can't stay away from me, can you Iruka?" Kakashi stalked over to me crawling over me so I was staring straight up at his face. "You want to know why that is, Iruka? It's because I own you…you wouldn't be able to live without me, you're just my little pet."

_No_, it wasn't true, it couldn't be true. I had been used enough in my life ,why did the one man I know I love have to be like this? It had been so long since I had trusted anyone, and now the man I did trust always treated me like a sex toy.

I wasn't expecting him to kiss me so I '_eeped_' automatically allowing him entrance to my mouth…that was my mistake. Once his tongue hit mine, I was puddy in the man's arms. There for him to shape anyway he pleases…so it was true he really did own me.

I really was nothing to him, just another whore that couldn't get passed his touch. I had failed him; I wasn't able to crack that outer shell like I promised him when this all began.

_Flashback_

_I had silently longed for that handsome silver haired ninja since the beginning of team seven. The moment I laid my eyes on his singular grey blue orb I was hooked, I would try to catch a glance at him every chance I got. He was like a drug, one look and you were hooked.   
It was on my day off that I noticed him without his guard on for the first time…and I think the only. I was walking to the memorial stone, planning on paying my respects to a few of my fallen comrades when I saw Kakashi in a tree. He had his hands covering his eyes and I could see tears on staining those gorgeous cheeks. _

_This was right after Sasuke had betrayed the village, I hadn't thought on how that would have affected Kakashi. I was only worried about Naruto ,who told me he secretly loved the trader. In those exact words of course._

_I wasn't thinking on how that would make Kakashi feel he must have felt like a failure ,that his star student didn't think that Kakashi was strong enough to teach him all he needed to know. _

_Pretty much the whole village knew of Kakashi's terrible luck with loved ones. I couldn't blame him for being upset if Naruto despaired ,I would have been upset as well, though I was a special case with my extreme mother-complex. _

_After that I made a silent vow to Kakashi that I would find some way to ease his pain, but I had failed my mission. I wasn't easing his pain I was just letting him use me. To over power me, at first I thought that, this was okay, that he could release tension and maybe a little later on he would fall in love with me._

_End Flashback_

Now I knew that would never happen I would never be able to crack this ninja's shell. This was the last time, the last time…after this I wouldn't let him use me…if it was the last thing I did I would make sure that he couldn't use me anymore…it would be the best for the both of us.

_**Author Time: **_

**Hey guys its **_**meeeeee**_**!!! Okay so there are not many people reading this Fic. T.T Well I guess not all of my Fics can be good but I know were this is going now and **_**you will want to read it**_**!!!!!!!! Especially if you're into angst….but review or I won't update I only want 5 reviews and I won't update until I get my 5 reviews so be sure to tell them about this Fic. I'm deciding to be a moody bitch about this so do it quickly or I may drop the story. **

**Editor's Note: Isn't that mean of her? T3T**


	3. Chapter 3

**Never Again chp.3**

_**Disclaimer-TiffyHatake does not own the Naruto series or any of its characters.**_

Three years had passed since I have left the village. So much about me has changed, I stopped caring so much. Tough training made me a lot stronger and going through the hell called the Jounin exams seemed to harden my heart. I can still remember the day I was assigned to leave the village.

-Flash back-

_That morning I had crawled out from under Kakashi and went straight to the Hokage tower. Her words haunted me 'The whole system isn't going to fall apart just because you're gone.' Or something like that. _

_I also remembered all the times Kakashi had picked on me because I was 'only a chunin'. Last night I wasn't sure what I was going to do with anything, but now I knew I always wanted to know if I was good enough to be jounin material but never got around to it. _

"_Hokage-sama?" I asked. knocking on the door to her office. _

"_Oh Iruka, there you are. I was going to send someone after you soon."_

"_Really? Did I sleep late?"_

"_Oh no but I have something I want to show you." _

-End flash back-

It turned out that Tsunade had wanted me to go on a long term mission. It was nice but only lasted about half a year. After I successfully finished that mission I got another and another.

Some ninjas might have been annoyed by the constant work, but I never was. I loved to keep myself busy, to wrap myself into something so much I would fall down after it was finished and just have a peaceful dreamless sleep.

By the end of that year I had completed 8 b-rank missions and 10 a- rank missions. Most of them long-term and risky missions. I wondered why I was doing jounin level missions but I never complained, it was what I wanted. I wanted to be worked to the bone, it made me stop thinking about _him_.

Yeah, my mind seemed to swim back to him on days when I had free time, which wasn't often. On those rare days I would get butterflies in my stomach and an overwhelming sense of dread and depression.

On the second year of being away from the Leaf Village I was assigned to a chunin team and took the Jounin exams.

It was true about what they said, it really was hell. My team was one of the very few teams to make it out of there alive, not to mention safely. I had two other strong team mates.

Hyaku, he had, messy brown hair and tumbleweed tinted skin as well as scar on his left cheek that led down to his chin. He specialized in seek and destroy missions. Like lethal hide and seek he liked to call it.

Then there was Omochi , he had a mix of black and red hair that came down to the small of his back. He was the one I trusted the most, he was bubbly and easy to talk to if not a little spastic, he specialized in torture, and swordsmanship, I'm not even going to get into what he liked to do with the sword.

I have seen Omochi kill people with out a blink of his eye, and laugh as he made another ninja beg for mercy. I wasn't sure why I trusted Omochi this much, but I did know that he put his team mates miles before he put himself….as in he would gladly sacrifice himself.

I honestly didn't know many people like that. Hyaku and Omochi had been on the same team since their Genin days. They were like brothers, but neither really made me feel like an outsider.

It was Omochi who kept stealing a glance in my direction, he knew about Kakashi. I told him one day in a bar, I was kind of tipsy at the time. Omochi listened and then told me his story…he didn't appear to be tipsy at all. At that moment you wouldn't have known he was actually very drunk. I had never seen him so serious I had only ever seen him immature, or with this cracked up expression that looked down right demonic, that expression only came when he was pissed of at someone or was torturing someone…

Omochi had told me he had been in love with Hyaku since he could remember. Their story really reminded me of Naruto. How they had been rivals then brothers and somewhere along the way he had fallen in love with a bastard that rarely seemed to care about him.

Omochi stopped at the gate of Konoha and started walking. I looked around, the village looked the same as it did three years ago. All three of us silently started towards the Hokage's office.

Three years and I was finally back in the village. Oh Kami be with me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Never Again Ch. 4**

_**Disclaimer: TiffyHatake does not own the Naruto series or any of its characters. You may put your lawyers away now. Except for that little one. He's going with Orochimaru.**_

Lady Hokage had given us vacation time; we have been working together for about two years. All three of us were undeniably tired. It was good to be back in Konoha.

I was just glad to be out of that woman's office. So was Hyaku, he seemed more relaxed than I had ever seen him. He had taken his shirt off and the sunlight seemed to be bathing his skin.

Omochi was practically drooling over the sight. I shook my head and Omochi noticed, he blushed and looked away for a minute, before coming closer to me.

"Want to go get some ramen?"

"No thank you I'm fine. I just want to go to my apartment and crash."

"I'm sure." He laughed

My apartment seemed the same, a lot dustier, honestly had I really left milk on the counter for 3 years…ugh it smelt terrible! I'm sure people had noticed. Oh well, might as clean it up.

Two hours later and the stench didn't go away, all of the windows were open candles had been lit but it still reeked of sour milk. I had cleaned up everything, dusting getting everything organized multiple times.

I was bored and trying not to drag up old memories from looking around. I was pathetic, it had been so long and I hadn't gotten over him.

Thank Kami I hadn't seen him yet, what would I do when I did? I couldn't help the wave of depression come over me as I looked out of the window of my apartment.

It had been a big mistake to sit on the edge of my couch.

"Iru-chan!" Omochi cried, glomping me…when did he climb through my window? Wait… this was Omochi he did this all the time I should be used to this by now.

"Omo-kun what are you doing here?" I asked dizzily

Omochi stopped and clutched his nose.

"Oh my geez, Iru-chan this place reeks, what happened?!" at that I laughed a little.

"I left a carton of milk out for about 3 years."

"Holy shit, fuck this we're going to my place."

"Buh…but…"

"No excuses get your things; I'm not letting you stay in this rancid place."

"I'm not sleeping in your bed!!" I exclaimed.

"Of course you are." Omochi said lying on the couch. "You're my guest I'm not going to make you sleep on the couch, don't be silly Iru-chan."

I leaned on top of him. "You are so stubborn."

"You wouldn't like me if I wasn't now would you?"

"Probably not." We looked into each other eyes for a while before he leaned over and claimed my lips.

This wasn't something new for me. For a while we had been secret lovers. It was at times that the other person needed to feel loved, and right now we both needed to feel loved.

I was worried about seeing Kakashi and he was still thinking about Hyaku. We sighed and he moved us, pushing us towards the bed.

He climbed over me, taking my lips into another tender kiss. Every time we had sex I always felt like he was actually making love to me. He was a wonder in bed.

He stripped me of my clothes while kissing me; I was so wrapped up in the kiss I didn't notice.

"Iruka…" He mumbled on to my lips. My vision blurred slightly and instead of Omochi's black hair I saw Kakashi standing over me, his white hair in a messy blizzard of snow colored strands. I broke apart then, tears started streaming down my cheeks and curving down to my chin. It hurt so much, my chest was vibrating, I almost felt like I was having a heart attack.

"Iruka!" I stared at the silvery snow white hair and the concerned face, it didn't fit together at all.

"Iruka what's wrong?! Damn it Iruka what's going on, why are you shaking?!" I couldn't form words into my mouth my body was in too much pain.

"Don't you dare pass out on me Iruka!" I heard Kakashi say ,but it was too late. Everything went dark, the incredible comfortable darkness.

Maybe I wouldn't wake up. But with my bad luck, I eventually would.


	5. Chapter 5

Never Again chp

**Never Again ch. 5 **

_**Disclaimer:**__** TiffyHatake does not own the Naruto series or any of it's characters.**_

Omochi passed through Iruka's hospital room. He was going crazy with worry, this reminded him so much of how his father died. One day he was just raping his 10-year old child like normal and then bam he was shaking and crying then he croaked like the disgusting sick frog man that he was.

Still Omochi was paranoid he didn't really know what to do when his father died and if the same thing happened to Iruka he may just go insane. Was this really happening? Both of his bed partners (willingly so or not) had gone threw this shaking sick time and Omochi just didn't understand why.

Okay maybe he was being a teeny-weeny bit over dramatic. Iruka had been whispering Kakashi's name when he passed out. So was this a mental break down? Yeah, that was it! Tsunade had gone to get some test results. She would be back in any minute and then he would know. It was probably fatigue or the flu or something but he might as well prepare for the worst.

Iruka was strong though, both mentally and physically he would get over this and everything would work out.

"Omochi?" Hyaku appeared behind Omochi and put his hand on the multi-color haired man's shoulder.

"Huh?" Omochi jumped out of his daze and gave Hyaku a dazed look before jumping back to his usual grin. "Sorry zoned out for a minute."

"You're thinking of your father." Hyaku stated blunt yet knowingly

"Get out of my head, bastard." Omochi said threateningly. Hyaku backed off, knowing that Omochi's dad was a sensitive subject.

Hyaku stared at his friend, he could clearly see that Omochi was going to his old childhood day's way of thinking. The current Omochi knew that what the nameless man did was horrible but when his eyes glazed over like they were doing now Omochi went back to that little boy that didn't know that his papa was harming him.

This thing with Iruka was a real problem. It would bring out memories for Omochi that should remain under an iron curtain that was screwed to the wall keeping in all of those thoughts.

Hyaku rested his head on Omochi's and sighed deeply. Why was this man so bothersome? Omochi was hard to read to many people, Hyaku took great pride at being able to read him as much as he could, but still he didn't know what was actually going through the elder's head. This was absolutely infuriating! Omochi always seemed happy but there were times like this when he just looked so… broken!

"Boys?"

Tsunade stared at the two ninjas. She had said their names several times but neither of them had responded. This was probably typical, they had just gotten back from 3 years duty they must have turned some of their senses off so they could rest them…or something like that.

"Oh sorry Hokage-sama, I didn't hear you come in." Omochi plastered a smile on his face moved out of the way. "So how is Iruka, it isn't anything serious is it?"' Omochi asked worriedly.

"No he's just exhausted his body shut down on him momentarily. He'll wake up in a few days rested and good as new." The busty blonde informed with a smile, hoping it relieved some of the stress from the situation

Omochi let out a breath he hadn't been aware of holding. Hyaku nodded and started out the door.

Now that he knew Iruka was okay he might as well leave the brunet wouldn't be awake for a few days and he business to attend to.

Tsunade waited for Hyaku to shut the door and turned to Omochi. "How are you Omochi?" she asked

"I'm fine, Hokage-sama."

"I've seen your file, Omochi, are you sure? I can only imagine how upset you must be."

"I'm upset yes, but this is just another part of life. I'm sure Iruka will come out of this and now that I know he's safe there's no real need to worry me. I'd like to stay with him of course until he wakes up."

"I don't see any harm with that." Tsunade nodded pleased.

Omochi was being very mature about this and that only proved him to be a level headed ninja and that was good since he was in the torture business many of them became messed up in the head.

"I'll leave you two alone then. If he wakes up alert me at once good night, Omochi."

"Good night, Hokage-sama." Omochi replied

!

Omochi scrubbed at Iruka's counter doing his best to get the rotten milk stench out of the room. He had lit candles and opened the window but it seemed as if the stench was stuck in the room permanently.

It had been three days and Iruka still hadn't woken up. In all honestly Omochi was worried, what if Iruka never woke up?! What if he went into a coma or something and had to go on life support and then they would pull the plug and Iruka would die and he would never get to talk to the lovely ninja again like in those soap operas?!

Omochi started to scrub harder and swallowed a sob.

"Stupid, stupid Omochi. Iruka will get better and wake up and when he does he won't want a smelly apartment." Omochi said out loud the silence was suffocating him. Honestly didn't that dolphin boy own a radio? Come on some rock music would totally hit the spot right about now!

Omochi was going stir crazy he was scrubbing the counter so hard and all and his shoulders were shaking. Hell, no matter how much Omochi denied it, he was scared. He hated it how people he got close to either died or pushed him away.

Omochi was no fool Iruka was unconscious, because his heart couldn't take any more of the pain that being in Konoha was giving him. Also, he knew that the only thing that would get Iruka back to his Iruka self was if Kakashi was there.

If that happened what would Omochi do? He really like Iruka but everyone deserved to be with the one they loved right? Still Omochi was tired of being the best friend. He wanted someone that loved him not someone that used him or only lusted for him.

Omochi sat down on the counter sighing. Just imagine how happy Iruka would be if Kakashi really did love him, if they could be together Omochi would see a totally different Iruka…or he wouldn't see Iruka that much at all.

That would be okay right? Iruka would be happy with the one he loved and as Iruka's friend that was all that mattered. He couldn't be selfish like that!! So if that day came he would suck it up and be happy for Iruka!

!

Omochi was a sleep in a chair in Iruka's hospital room.

_(Omochi's dream)_

_Hyaku was drunk and at a bar with Omochi. The two had been bored and decided to have a night on the town. Unfortunately, that ended up leaving Omochi with a very drunk, very sexy ninja on his hands. _

"_Omo-chan…" Hyaku said airily_

"_What is it Hyaku?" Omochi gulped as he gazed into Hyaku's eyes that were narrowed seductively_

"_Let's get a room together." _

_Omochi spluttered on his coke. Hey someone had to make sure that Hyaku got home safely tonight. _

"_W-what?" _

"_I know you want to Omo-chan!" The usually silent ninja said. "It's been a long time since either of us have gotten laid and I always wondered if you were as good as those other guys said you were." Hyaku leaned over and started kissing Omochi's neck and fisted the front of Omochi's jeans. _

_Omo gasped and wriggled in his seat a little. "Hyaku you're drunk!" he gasped_

"_Do you think I give a damn? Alls I care about is getting you out of those clothes and inside of me." Hyaku slurred _

_Omochi thought if over for like two seconds before saying. "Your place is closer." And getting out off the chair dragging Hyaku with him. _

_The sex had been wonderful. Hyaku was so tight and sensitive. They must have been up all night and after Omochi got finished Hyaku had surprised him by flipping him on his stomach and doing the same thing Omochi had done to him. _

_The morning though was completely different. The morning had been Omochi's nightmare! Omochi had woken up first looked around at the unfamiliar room then saw the brown haired male fast asleep next to him and smiled. He got up to get a shower in a completely good mood. _

_He even let his mind wander to opportunities that could be. Maybe Hyaku had liked him and they could become an official couple. Thoughts like this proceeded in a school girl way but honestly Omochi hadn't cared, he loved Hyaku and had let him in his heart when he had been so afraid of other people. _

_Omochi stepped out of the bathroom with a fuzzy towel drying off. He looked over the bed to see Hyaku staring at the comforter horrified. Omochi felt his heart drop to his stomach._

" '_Yaku?" He whispered. _

"_Omochi did we really do that…last night I was so out of it…?" _

"_Are you okay Hyaku?" _

_The brunette looked at Omochi. _

"_No, no I-I didn't do that I couldn't have done that. Not with another man. How could you have let me do that?!" Hyaku screamed at Omochi "I was drunk you knew I was and-and you did that to me. Damn it Omochi how could you have been so selfish?! You know how my clan is!?"_

_Omochi looked shocked at Hyaku. _

"_This is wrong, that was wrong! You know that I can't be with another man! What if my Father found out?! You know how he was with my brother! He forbade everyone from going to his funeral! Maybe your Father didn't care about homosexual relationships, but mine does!" Hyaku started to sob. _

"_Hyaku…." Omochi swallowed a sob and started to shake. _

"_Get out! Get out! Don't you ever tell anyone about this, get the hell out!"_

_Omochi put his clothes back on and walked out of the door. He walked over to the grave yard and found his father's grave and sat down. He wasn't aware of time or anything and he just sat there not really knowing where he was until Hyaku found him that night. Hyaku apologized and tried to get Omochi to stand up but the ninja didn't. Omochi just sat there. Hyaku had never been so afraid in his life. _

(Back to real world)

"-chi. Omochi!" Omochi jumped out of his chair and landed on the floor with a thump.

"I'm awake!" Omochi looked around and saw Iruka sitting up on his bed. Omochi felt the tears flow down his eyes. "You're awake, oh, Kami-sama, your awake." Omochi hugged Iruka and started to sob.


End file.
